Star Trek - Killing Time

"Let us understand one another, ensign Kirk," Spock Began...

Before we begin proper, I want you to understand a couple of things.  I love this book.  I love it for its utter absurdity.  I love it for its blatant slash pairing.  I love its clunky dialogue, it's overly romantic descriptions and it's not so subtle expectation for you to read between the lines; ok, not so much 'read between the lines' as read the neon lights.

I also love the controversy of how this book came to be printed, how many of the original printings were recalled destroyed, or how furious Gene is said to have been when he realised that all the edits which had been made (over 50 in total) had been completely ignored and thus, this beautifully slashy monster had found its way to the shelves. Read more here.

Killing Time by Della Van Hise is that wonderful monster and I can tell you here at the beginning it is getting two ratings: 1/5 and 5/5.  The story is a nonsensical romp, the writing at times, ridiculous (you'd be forgiven if you had to check the cover to make sure you weren't reading Mills & Boon), and the slash so thinly veiled that it would make your grandmother blush.  However, despite it's seeming lack of quality, I just can't hate it.  In fact, this sincere, unabashed labour of love wins me over totally.

I'll be the first to admit I'm picky when it comes to books, but occasionally a spectacularly bad book can win me over, and Killing Time is one of those books.  You know the phrase 'it's so bad it's good'?  I have been known to describe Killing Time as 'pure gold', 'genius', 'utterly hilarious', perhaps I'm just Hise's intended audience?  Unfortunately, I don't have a first edition copy (mine is the first revised edition...), but I'm working on it! List of changes between the two editions.

So... give me a brief overview?

You've got it!  The novel is initially pretty slow to start in comparison to many of the other TOS novels from the period, which is actually pretty nice.  We're introduced to a couple of new characters, Richardson (a human) and S'Parva (a telepathic dog like race 'body of a goddess, face of an irish setter').  These two new characters are well developed and are more important than characters like Sulu or Uhura who fall to the wayside somewhat.  We also learn that Enterprise crew are having strange dreams in which they feel slightly displaced.  These dreams turn out to be 'second history' asserting itself, until finally, 'first history' finally gives way and is replaced by 'second history', with disastrous consequences.

It's the mirror universe then?

No, it isn't the mirror universe, it's the 'second history' of the prime universe.  It would be interesting to find out how the mirror universe would be affected by 'second history' though... I digress.

It turns out that the Vulcans are the dominant species in the Federation, the Enterprise is now the Shikahr and Spock is the captain!  Kirk on the other hand has been relegated to the position of ensign!

The alteration of the timeline hasn't gone smoothly however, and the disparity between first and second history is causing those whose second history life is too disparate from their original life to go mad!  Those who fulfil the same role in both histories do not appear to develop the madness, or at least at the same rate.  McCoy and Uhura fulfil the same roles, and are not plagued by dreams.

Ok, so who are the big bads, and how did they do it?

The Romulans, it was the Romulans.  They sent (*android*) agents back in time and killed the men  who would lay the foundations for the Federation as it stands in first history.  The ships involved in this operation are unchanged by the displacement and those on board retain their full memory of first history.  They did it by travelling at warp ten and slingshotting around the sun, causing them to be able to move backwards (and it seems, forward) in time.

Of course it was the Romulans.

ANYWAY.  Kirk and Spock need to confess their undying love remember their friendship and save the galaxy from madness and destruction, they do this by teaming up with 'Romeo' Richardson and the psychic dog woman.  McCoy is also essential, because he has to um... give medical advice and uh... give support to Captain Spock who is suffering from Pon Farr... (the time line is different, so Spock is going through Pon Farr at a different time... for MAXIMUM drama and sexual tension).

Anything else I should know?

The Romulan Praetor is female and has the hots for Spock.  She actually temporarily bonds with him and uh... solves his pon farr problem.  Additionally, the Romulans appear to be a patriarchy, nobody knows the Praetor is female and she has kinky male slaves?

Honestly, I don't want to spoil TOO much, it's better to read this beauteous piece of slash fanfiction yourself.

Spock as captain of the Shikahr appears to command well, quite unlike in the series, although his own introspection reveals he is not confident of his abilities (despite logically, being perfectly capable).  He feels that he would do better in a supporting role to someone else... someone like Kirk who, in a twist of fate is a conscripted ensign on the ShiKahr.  Kirk is a troubled drug addict who, it seems, was framed for the murder of a Vulcan instructor at the academy.  He was interrogated using the now banned Talos device (coincidentally... Spock tried it on himself and was so horrified by it that he lobbied for it to be banned), which has left him mentally vulnerable and he was later imprisoned in terrible conditions on earth.

Spock and Kirk dream of each other constantly.  They have a permanent mental link, which isn't even severed when second history asserts itself.  Before second history Spock meets his Kirk, he dreams of him and calls him T'lema - he who walks in dreams as well as wondering whether this unknown human was in fact his T'hy'la - friend, brother, lover.  The images he sees in his mind's eye are quite romantic -

'firm features, tanned flesh, expressive hazel eyes, and a compelling human grin.  Single lock of gold-bronze hair falling to the middle of a high forehead.  Still... a stranger.  A man who inhabited dreams'.

Later -

'There was no mistaking the intense hazel eyes, the almost defiant stance, the muscled body, the lock of errant hair which fell into the middle of the human's forehead'.

Spock, surprisingly is the main instigator of their relationship, and it seems the most emotionally affected.  Second history Kirk and his experience of the Talos Device have left him unable to trust his own mind, which essentially strips away a defining portion of Kirk's character.  Kirk discounts his dreams and visions as lingering effects of the mind probing device and chides himself for giving in to delusions of grandeur.  I'm going to come back to 'romantic' but this time I'm going to use a capital 'R'.  The premise of the book is ultimately a 'Romantic' one; the natural order and pure feeling of the universe will assert itself.  In any universe, Kirk must be on the Enterprise, Spock must be partnered with Kirk; they are the linchpins of the galaxy's natural law.  Kirk is a dissociated, Byronic hero, dark, mysterious and brooding (initially, he becomes a Romantic hero later), while Spock is his Romantic counterpart.

Perhaps I'm giving this too much thought.

The most, I don't know, shocking event in this entire travesty is the rape mind meld scene where Spock simply can't help himself and penetrates invades the mind of the sleeping (he was asking for it) Kirk.  This pretty much completely goes against Vulcan ethics on mind melds, since it should only be carried out between willing participants, or at least, they should be awake.  However here Kirk is watched while he sleeps, and then mentally invaded by Spock.  It's not consensual although femme Kirk appears to accept the assault as acceptable after all, he is mad.  After this event, Kirk starts to regain himself and starts to become the Captain we know, with the occasional aggressive outburst.  Without spoiling too much Kirk and Spock retain a strong psychic link even with a couple of solar systems between them... and towards the end of the book we get some very slashy moments... and this is even in the revised edition...  So much Spirk.

The Romulans are quite strangely presented, I won't go into it too much, but they are presented as being a patriarchy while in canon they are pretty egalitarian.  While Van Hise obviously likes the slash pairing of Spirk, she also enjoys the idea of female empowerment and fooling the male Romulans - which is one of the reasons the Praetor is so interested in Spock.  I can't help but think that she has put herself in the position of the Romulan Praetor, and writing some serious wish fulfillment.

Richardson and S'Parva... Furry representation.  You've got to love it.  They are there to help explain the two histories as S'Parva is able to guide Richardson in his dreams about first history.  There is also a very awkward 'don't go to the light' type scene.

I could go on.  But I think I'll end it here.  The revised editions are easy to get hold of, and I sincerely recommend this utter tripe fantastic addition to the Star Trek novel series, whether you are into slash or not.

If you are a fan of slash, boys love, gay fiction, you need to read this.  Kirk and Spock are the first really mainstream slash couple, slash's original meaning was KirkxSpock this is part of gay fiction history.

If you're not a fan, read it and give thanks that after this volume, they kept a closer eye on the non-canon novels.

Highly Recommended - if nothing else it's a good laugh, at best it's an accidental work of genius.

1/5 & 5/5.